A Castle Becomes a Cash Register – New York Times

WEST BERKSHIRE, England — Lady Carnarvon, a self-described “prudent Scottish accountant,” doesn’t mind buses coughing and screeching onto the gravel driveway of her country estate and depositing 1,500 fans each day at her doorstep. In fact, she eagerly welcomes the visitors to Highclere Castle who pay the $27 admission fee, buy the $14.50 guidebooks and don’t leave without souvenirs like a $23 polo shirt with Highclere Castle etched on the front.

Why the attraction? Lady Carnarvon’s home is the fictional setting for the TV series “Downton Abbey,” and she is determined to cash in. As she told a visitor while scrambling to find a place for lunch that wasn’t already occupied by tourists, the location fees paid for the use of Highclere “are not going to pay for the roof.”

Lady Carnarvon was known as Fiona Aitken before she married Geordie Herbert, the Eighth Earl of Carnarvon and Queen Elizabeth II’s godson, in 1999. She has become the face of Highclere as her husband devotes himself to the less-glamorous operational side of running this vast estate, and speaks with the proper accent of a countess and the numeric frankness of a chief financial officer. “If you win the lottery, you’re winning something called cash,” she said. “With ‘Downton,’ it’s how it can turn in to something like cash.”

The television show has brought worldwide fame to Highclere Castle (which Lady Carnarvon’s husband’s family has owned since the late 17th century), especially among what she calls “lots of lovely Americans.” But the house costs $1.5 million a year to run, and it has not received the windfall that viewers of the show would assume.

It certainly didn’t provide the fortune brought by Almina Wombwell, the Fifth Countess of Carnarvon and daughter of Alfred de Rothschild, who married into the family in 1895; that paid for the first electricity and plumbing. The current Lady Carnarvon recognizes that keeping a house like Highclere financially solvent and in the family is far more difficult today.

“It’s both my husband’s family home and my home, but it has to work in the modern world — it has to be a business,” she said as she finished lunch and asked her assistant to provide her something sweet. “Yes, my lady,” he said and promptly returned with a jelly doughnut.

Lady Carnarvon is such an advocate of prudent finances that she would seem to have more in common with Suze Orman than with her husband’s pedigreed relations. As she gazed out from the footmen’s rooms onto the tents on Highclere’s lawns, she talked about all her efforts to pay for Highclere Castle’s costly renovations, like running a working farm to produce horse feed and hosting events there like an Easter egg hunt that required relocating a field of lambs to make room for visitors.

In addition to bringing in more film and television companies to shoot in Highclere’s less recognizable chambers, she has rented out the home for weddings, including that of the model Katie Price, at rates starting at about $22,000.

A Richmond, Va.-based speaker’s bureau, Arnett & Associates, handles Lady Carnarvon’s speaking engagements, with fees starting at $20,000. Then there are her books. “Lady Almina and the Real Downton Abbey,” which was published in 2011, made the New York Times best-seller list and sold a respectable 157,000 copies. (She is writing another book, about her husband’s ancestors, specifically Catherine Wendell, the American-born Sixth Countess of Carnarvon.)

Through all of this fund-raising, she still tries to make Highclere Castle feel like a real home, with magazines strewn on the night tables of bedrooms recognizable to “Downton Abbey” fans and family photographs featuring the royals strategically placed throughout common rooms. Her family spends much of its time exiled to a cottage 20 yards away, where the countess said she keeps the “dogs, rabbits, trampolines, Xbox.” That’s where on a recent afternoon, Lady Carnarvon’s son, Edward, played with her husband’s son from his first marriage, George.

“I never rest,” she said. “I am always looking for the next trick.”

Not everyone has been pleased with how she has tried to make money off Highclere. A former boyfriend, the baronet Sir Benjamin Slade (who successfully sued her in the late 1990s after their breakup over the custody of their dog, Jasper, prompting the tabloids to brand her “Feisty Fiona”), called the Carnarvons “grave robbers” for their discovery of the tombs of Tutankhamen.

The biggest affront took place in 2010, when their neighbor Andrew Lloyd Webber tried to buy Highclere Castle from the Carnarvons so that he would have more room for his paintings. It’s an offer that still angers the affable Lady Carnarvon.

“That cuts right to the heart, that an English person’s home is his castle,” she said. “In our view, it wasn’t particularly neighborly.”

The current residents of Highclere are not the first to have money worries. In the 1840s, the Third Earl of Carnarvon ran into financial trouble when he tried to expand the house and estate too quickly and ran out of money, according to David Brock, who has worked as an inspector for English Heritage on Highclere Castle. Lady Almina’s fortune saved the house in 1895 from the Fifth Earl’s debts.

Even now, these cash-flow problems have not ended for Lady Carnarvon and her husband. A 2009 article in The Daily Mail shows Lord Carnarvon posing in rooms covered in mold that required $18 million in repairs.

Lady Carnarvon, the oldest of six daughters, studied at St. Andrews and went on to start a clothing line called Azure. She met her husband at a dinner party in 1996, when she was still grieving the death of her father, and Lord Carnarvon was recovering from the end of his first marriage to another aristocrat. The couple first bonded over bleak World War I poetry.

She credits her father-in-law, the Seventh Earl of Carnarvon, with setting Highclere on a stronger financial course. He reached an agreement with English Heritage to open the house to the public for part of the year in exchange for delaying the payment of death taxes. He also allowed in film crews, and Stanley Kubrick used the castle’s library to film an orgy scene from his movie “Eyes Wide Shut.” Lady Carnarvon said that though she has never seen the movie, she is grateful to Mr. Kubrick for spending so much time there because proceeds from the film helped pay to restore the pale-green silk wallpaper in the house’s drawing room.

“Hollywood are gorgeous because they have much, much more money,” she said.

Highclere’s television break came when Lady Carnarvon met Julian Fellowes, the creator of “Downton Abbey,” through his wife, Emma, at a sports match for her stepson. He first wanted to film “Gosford Park” there. She said that Mr. Fellowes pays a daily rental in the midrange of what historic homes typically get. Harvey Edgington, a broadcast and media manager for the National Trust, said television dramas typically pay $4,500 to $5,300 a day.

Filming “Downton Abbey” has not been without its drawbacks. Highclere had to cut the number of weddings held there to 20 a year (down from 25 to 30) to accommodate filming. Then there is the cost of wear and tear. The countess is still working out with the show’s crew how much it will cost to repair a dining table that it ironed on. Lady Carnarvon expects it will take “blooming ages to fix.”

Perhaps the most surprising part of Lady Carnarvon’s efforts is that because of English laws of inheritance, the house she is working so hard to preserve will pass to her husband’s son from his first marriage when he dies.

But she seems at peace to someday move out of Highclere and is only grateful that “Downton Abbey” may have helped set the house on a stable financial course long after she is gone.

“We’ve been here for 1,300 years,” Lady Carnarvon said. “I tell ‘Downton’: ‘You’re delightful. But you’re only here for four or five years.’ ”

Fake PSY parties in Cannes for two days before anybody really notices – heatworld

Apparently literally all you need to impersonate PSY in France is i. a pair of sunglasses ii. a velvet jacket iii. a pair of solid brass balls, as one imposter learned at Cannes this week. The Gangnam Style singer’s eerie clone partied it up for two entire days  – blagging free goodies, gliding into VIP parties and even posing for pictures with Bond girl Naomie Harris – as part of the film festival celebrations before anyone noticed he wasn’t the real PSY. The only reason people realised he wasn’t the real PSY is because the real actual PSY tweeted to tell them. Fake PSY: We salute you.

Katie Price celebrates her 35th birthday by sewing at a pinny making party – heatworld

Katie Price is expecting her fourth child, so we didn’t expect to see her drunkenly falling out of club as she celebrated her 35th birthday this week, but a pinny making party?

Katie Price, you’ve changed!

The glamour model-turned-businesswoman left the arrangements for her birthday celebrations up to her mum, which explains things.

“I celebrated my 35th birthday at home this week. In my time I’ve done some pretty wild things to mark the anniversary but this year I left my mum in charge,” Katie writes in her column in The Sun today.

“The result? Me and five friends had a pinny-making party. Yep, this wild party animal of the past sat in the kitchen sewing.”

Does this mean we can expect to see a Katie Price does craft book out in the near future?

Katie has also commented on Alicia Duvall’s surgery addiction again, after Alicia admitted that her face is so damaged from all the procedures she’s had that she can’t smile at her daughter Papaya,

“It’s a bit like a junkie who is finally reduced to stealing from her granny.” Writes Katie. “A sign that it’s time to seek proper help.”

Say what you really think, Katie.

‘Spoilt’ Katie Price ready to go go go in super-fast ‘curvy’ Ferrari 35th … – Now Magazine Online

Katie Price was treated to a luxurious motor on her 35th birthday yesterday.

The model told her 1,762,914 Twitter followers last night that she was excited about taking a spin in her super-speedy car.

'truly been spoilt today as I love my brand new Ferrari!! perfect curves, love the colour and boy does she go xxx pic later,' Tweeted Katie.

'Im testing how fast my new Ferrari is woooooo ...... To be continued.'

A new car wasn't the only expensive gift that Katie received on her big day - her husband Kieran Hayler surprised her with a pair of hot red heels and a Louis Vuitton bag.

Despite her extravagant presents, Katie opted for low-key celebrations.

The mum-of-three - who's currently expecting her fourth child - appeared to making crafts in a snap of her chilling out with friends and family at home. 

'so being 35 ive spent a nice afternoon with the girls doing what girls my age do best,' Tweeted Katie.

'xxxx's to all of you thank u xxxx had such a fun day.'

NEW PICTURES The changing face of Katie Price

SEE PICTURES Peter Andre in Katie Price's men - the boyfriends, husbands and lovers she's left behind

SEE PICTURES Katie Price and Peter Andre - after the love split

Anna Duff

Pregnant Katie Price looks miserable on her 35th as she steps out in dressed … – Daily Mail

By Sarah Fitzmaurice

|

It might have been her birthday on Wednesday but Katie Price certainly didn't look happy to be turning 35.

The pregnant model and businesswoman looked miserable as she strolled around Brighton and she kept her head down during her walk.

It might have been her birthday but Katie didn't seem to want to celebrate by dressing up, opting instead for a dressed down look.

Why so glum: Katie Price appeared miserable as she stepped out on her birthday on Wednesday

Why so glum: Katie Price appeared miserable as she stepped out on her birthday on Wednesday

She covered her baby bump in a loose white top with a horse print scarf and a camouflage shirt.

Katie wore a pair of baggy grey trousers and carried a Louis Vuitton clutch bag for her brief excursion.

But while the brunette looked miserable her Twitter feed told another story and Katie said she was having a great day.

Not dressed up for the occasion then: The model, who celebrated her 35th birthday on Wednesday, wore a loose-fitting casual outfit for the day

Not dressed up for the occasion then: The model, who celebrated her 35th birthday on Wednesday, wore a loose-fitting casual outfit for the day

Not dressed up for the occasion then: The model, who celebrated her 35th birthday on Wednesday, wore a loose-fitting casual outfit for the day

Keeping a low profile: Katie kept a pair of oversized sunglasses on but still caught the attention of fellow shoppers in Brighton

Keeping a low profile: Katie kept a pair of oversized sunglasses on but still caught the attention of fellow shoppers in Brighton

Katie, who is expecting her fourth child with her third and current husband Kieran Hayler, spoke of her delight at getting a Ferrari for her birthday.

She wrote: 'truly been spoilt today as I love my brand new Ferrari!! perfect curves, love the colour and boy does she go xxx pic later.' (sic)

It seems that after her solo stroll Katie enjoyed a celebration with a number of female friends.

Trying to keep a low profile: The model, who is currently pregnant with her fourth child with third husband Kieran Hayler

Trying to keep a low profile: The model, who is currently pregnant with her fourth child with third husband Kieran Hayler

She posted a picture of herself and some pals around a table enjoying what appeared to be a sewing party.

While Katie clearly had a busy day she found time to weigh in on current events referencing the Oklahoma tornado and the murder in Woolwich and wrote: 'ive not been on much lately but how bad was oklahoma and today in london! awful.' (sic)

Alex Reid wishes ex-wife Katie Price a happy birthday. Which is nice. – heatworld

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Katie Price, love, all of us at heatworld.

But we’re not the only ones who’ve been wishing Katie all the best on her 35th birthday – her ex-husband Alex Reid also jumped on twitter this morning, saying: “And while I’m at it, Happy Birthday @MissKatiePrice Hayler”.

That’s nice isn’t it?

The couple have had a notoriously nasty relationship since their divorce last year – the pair originally split up in January 2011, just 11 months after they’d got married in Vegas.

Bad luck though Alex, Katie’s third and current hubby got in there first posting a message just after midnight saying: “Happy birthday my beautiful girl!!!!! I love you with all my heart. @MissKatiePrice xxxxxxx”

That’s five exclamation marks and seven whole kisses, in case you were wondering.

Naming your baby the B-list way – Perth Now

Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney and wife Coleen with Klay and Kai. Picture: Twitter Source: Twitter

THE decision by soccer star Wayne Rooney to call his new son Klay, a name beginning with the same letter as that of his older sibling Kai, is part of a trend that started in America and is catching on fast.

And if you're wondering who's responsible, then the blame can be laid firmly at the door of the stars of US TV series Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

It's a fly-on-the-wall reality show that first aired seven years ago and follows the lives of the incredibly rich and rather shallow Kardashian family, all the female members of which have a name starting with the letter K.

Kris Jenner is the matriarch of the brood and it was her idea to give her daughters names which all began with the same letter, for no other reason than she thought it was ‘cute'. So it is that Kris is mother to Khloe, Kourtney, Kim, Kendall and Kylie.

Her most famous daughter, Kim, has taken things even further by dating and marrying men whose names also begin with K. First came her famously short blink-and-you'll-miss it 72-day marriage to basketball player Kris Humphries. Now she is expecting a baby with rapper Kanye West and claims that she is also planning to give their child a K name.

Mariah Carey continued the theme when she named her two-year-old twins Moroccan (a boy) and Monroe (a girl).

Kardashians

Kourtney, Kim and Khloe Kardashian. Picture: AP

Film director Robert Rodriguez, whose films include From Dusk Till Dawn, Spy Kids and Sin City, really embraced the idea when he called his four sons Rocket, Racer, Rebel and Rogue. His daughter is named Rhiannon. Of course not only is it not unusual for those in the public eye to give their offspring unusual and wacky names, it's positively de rigueur.

When Beyonce and her husband Jay Z named their daughter Blue Ivy they continued a long-established theme of celebrities giving their offspring colourful names.

Mick Jagger and his first wife Bianca started the ball rolling when they named their daughter Jade. Since then rock star Sting has had a daughter called Fuchsia (although she now prefers to go by Kate), The Edge from U2 has a daughter called Blue Angel while Geri Halliwell named her daughter Bluebell.

Then there are the stars who choose to name their children after places. Brooklyn Beckham, the oldest son of David and Victoria, is the most famous example of this.

It was widely believed that he was named after the place of his conception, but his mother revealed in her autobiography that it was actually because she was in New York when she found out she was pregnant.

Actress Reese Witherspoon has just named her son Tennessee after her home state while singer Alicia Keys has a son called Egypt and, even though she hails from Colombia and her partner is Spanish, singer Shakira recently chose to call her baby son Milan.

And let's not even get started on the daftest craze of all - royal-themed names. Katie Price and Peter Andre called their daughter Princess Tiaamii, while Michael Jackson gave both his sons the same name, Prince Michael.

Since the Kardashian programmes began screening, online parenting forums have been awash with postings asking whether it is cool, cute or crass to give their children names all starting with the same letter.

With the arrival of baby Klay it looks like a trend that's set to stay - especially if Kai and Klay are soon joined by siblings called Kandy and Konner.

Share your weird baby name trends below

Naming your new baby the B-list way: Giving newborns names beginning with … – Daily Mail

By Claudia Connell

|

The decision by the Rooneys to call their new son Klay, a name beginning with the same letter as that of his older sibling Kai, is part of a trend that started in America and is catching on fast over here.

And if you’re wondering who’s responsible, then the blame can be laid firmly at the door of the stars of US TV series Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

It’s a fly-on-the-wall reality show that first aired seven years ago and follows the lives of the incredibly rich and rather shallow Kardashian family, all the female members of which have a name starting with the letter K.

Kourtney Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian and Kim Kardashian, seem to have sparked a trend for giving babies a name beginning with the same letter as that of their older sibling

Kourtney Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian and Kim Kardashian, seem to have sparked a trend for giving babies a name beginning with the same letter as that of their older sibling

Kris Jenner is the matriarch of the brood and it was her idea to give her daughters names which all began with the same letter, for no other reason than she thought it was ‘cute’.

So it is that Kris is mother to Khloe, Kourtney, Kim, Kendall and Kylie. 

Her most famous daughter, Kim, has taken things even further by dating and marrying men whose names also begin with K. 

First came her famously short blink-and-you’ll-miss it 72-day marriage to basketball player Kris Humphries.

Now she is expecting a baby with rapper Kanye West and claims that she is also planning to give their child a K name. 

Mariah Carey continued the theme when she named her two-year-old twins Moroccan (a boy) and Monroe (a girl).

Film director Robert Rodriguez, whose films include From Dusk Till Dawn, Spy Kids and Sin City, really embraced the idea when he called his four sons Rocket, Racer, Rebel and Rogue.

With the arrival of baby Klay for Coleen and Wayne Rooney, and brother Kai it looks like a trend that's set to stay

With the arrival of baby Klay for Coleen and Wayne Rooney, and brother Kai it looks like a trend that's set to stay

His daughter is named Rhiannon.

Of course not only is it not unusual for those in the public eye to give their offspring unusual and wacky names, it’s positively de rigueur.

When Beyonce and her husband Jay Z named their daughter Blue Ivy they continued a long-established theme of celebrities giving their offspring colourful names. 

Mick Jagger and his first wife Bianca started the ball rolling when they named their daughter Jade. Since then rock star Sting has had a daughter called Fuchsia (although she now prefers to go by Kate), The Edge from U2 has a daughter called Blue Angel while Geri Halliwell named her daughter Bluebell. 

Then there are the stars who choose to name their children after places. Brooklyn Beckham, the oldest son of David and Victoria, is the most famous example of this.

It was widely believed that he was named after the place of his conception, but his mother revealed in her autobiography that it was actually because she was in New York when she found out she was pregnant.

Mariah Carey continued the theme when she named her two-year-old twins Moroccan (a boy) and Monroe (a girl)

Mariah Carey continued the theme when she named her two-year-old twins Moroccan (a boy) and Monroe (a girl)

Actress Reese Witherspoon has just named her son Tennessee after her home state while singer Alicia Keys has a son called Egypt and, even though she hails from Colombia and her partner is Spanish, singer Shakira recently chose to call her baby son Milan.

And let’s not even get started on the daftest craze of all – royal-themed names. Katie Price and Peter Andre called their daughter Princess Tiaamii, while Michael Jackson gave both his sons the same name, Prince Michael. 

Since the Kardashian programmes began screening in the UK, online parenting forums have been awash with postings asking whether it is cool, cute or crass to give their children names all starting with the same letter. 

With the arrival of baby Klay it looks like a trend that’s set to stay – especially if Kai  and Klay are soon joined by siblings called Kandy and Konner.

Ava wants to be Ireland’s Katie Price – The Irish Sun

A BUSTY babe has told how losing weight and getting a boob job changed her life — and now she wants to become the Irish Jordan.

A year and a half ago sexy Ava Van Rose was four stone heavier and desperately unhappy.

Now the saucy stunner has a tiny size 6-8 figure, and an ample 32E bust, and she is on a mission to become Ireland’s first full-time glamour girl.

Dubliner Ava, 23, revealed: “I didn’t have a lot of confidence before I lost all my weight and it has done a lot for my self esteem.

“I had my boobs done last year, I went from a 34C to a 32E so I went up three cup sizes but at the same time I went down a lot in weight.

“I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I’ve always wanted big boobs and I don’t think they are too big for my frame.

“Jordan is my role model. I would love to do what she does in Ireland as I don’t think anybody here does that yet.

Ava Van Rose

Shoe beauty ... Ava Van Rose

Evan Doherty

“I think it’s high time Ireland got in line with the rest of the world in terms of the glamour industry, I feel like we are always behind the times.

“I want to be the biggest and best glamour model in Ireland and I want to become Ireland’s first official Playboy Playmate.”

Daring Ava Van Rose, who prefers to go by her stage name, also has a suitably sexy way to keep in shape — pole dancing.

The model had a pole installed in her home in Lucan, Co Dublin, and she even teaches classes in her local gym now.

She said: “I started going to the gym a lot and being very conscious of what I ate. I adopted a high-protein low-fat diet and worked out a lot and within about 18 months I had lost four stone.

“I had to do it for myself. I was so self conscious of my size and I was really miserable and used to get upset by my weight all the time.

“It’s not that I was huge or anything, I was a size 12 to 14 but I’m only 5ft2in so I felt very heavy. I wanted to be fit and be able to live like a 23-year-old and wear nice clothes and just be happy and have fun.

“It wasn’t easy of course, but the benefits once they started happening more than made up for the pain. Now I’m really into health and fitness. I go to the gym three or four times a week and I do a lot of pole dancing.”

Ava Van Rose.

Changes ... Ava when she was heavier

Like her hero Jordan, real name Katie Price, Ava isn’t afraid of some straight talking and she reckons Ireland’s lingerie models play it too safe.

She said: “I’m sick of seeing models in their underwear every day doing photoshoots, they are all the same to me, I mean what’s different about their shoots? They change their cotton undies and that’s it.

“I want to do something nobody has done here before and be the best at it.

“I never dreamed that I would be a model to be honest. I didn’t originally pursue it but after I lost all the weight and had the boob job I started to get a lot of attention, so I kept taking the opportunities that became available to me and I just went with it and things have really spiralled.”

Not surprisingly flirty Ava, who gets her exotic looks from her Spanish granny, is used to getting lots of male attention.

But she confessed there’s nothing she loves more and says men are only doing what comes naturally to them.

She laughed: “I do get a lot of attention from men but I don’t really pass any remarks.

“I see them looking at me, mostly at my breasts, but that’s what men do and it doesn’t bother me.

“I have about 7,500 friends on Facebook who comment on my photos, but I love that.

“As far as I’m concerned men will be men, I think it’s natural for them to admire women, so I’m happy enough if they admire me.”

Katie Price

Hero ... Jordan

And when it comes to surgery, she may not be ready to draw the line yet.

She admitted: “I haven’t had any other surgery yet, but I wouldn’t say no to it, we will see in the future.

“I think people should just do what makes them happy. Before I lost weight and had my boobs done I was depressed and suffered from really low self-esteem.

“Now I am so happy and doing what I want to be doing. I’m not ashamed of my boobs, it’s pretty obvious I have had them done, but so what? I am happy with myself.

“I know Jordan is not everybody’s cup of tea and that’s fine, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but to me she’s a business woman and a mother and she’s focused and hard working and determined and she gets what she wants, having had surgery hasn’t held her back.

“She’s had a lot of knock backs but she always gets up and goes again. There’s nobody else like her, she has carved out a very successful business niche.”

Now Ava is focusing her attention on taking the Irish modelling world by storm and hopefully breaking in to the lucrative UK glamour industry.

And there’s nobody more supportive of her brave choices than her proud father — who is her biggest fan.

She added: “My family and friends are very supportive of what I’m doing. My dad knows everything and I always tell him about my photoshoots, he think it’s great, he has seen all my pictures and he’s fully behind me.

“I’ve done some very risque glamour shots and I’m very open about it, I don’t see why I should hide it, I’m not doing anything wrong.

“Ultimately I’d like to break into the glamour industry in the UK as there’s so many opportunities there. I’ve been meeting people and getting very positive feedback so hopefully something will happen there.

“I feel the female body is beautiful and should be seen as a work of art.

“Like any woman I’m never 100 per cent confident with my body, but in front of a camera with some sexy music on, the sexual energy just flows and I really enjoy it.”

fiona.wynne@the-sun.ie

Ian Hyland’s TV week: Match Of The Day, Katie Price, Peter Andre and more – Mirror.co.uk

21 May 2013 00:00

If the Beeb is planning to freshen things up it could do worse than Michael Owen: eloquent, humorous and insightful

Michael Owen waves to fans after his last game for Stoke Michael Owen waves to fans after his last game for Stoke

Bryn Lennon

Michael Owen's sitting pretty

There were some brilliant end of season montages from Sky Sports and Match Of The Day.

But the most intriguing thing at MOTD was Gary Lineker mumbling: “Been great working with you” to Alan Hansen and Alan Shearer.

Was it a hint that a much-needed shake-up is imminent?

If the Beeb is planning to freshen things up it could do worse than Michael Owen.

Whenever I’ve seen him on TV he has been eloquent, humorous and insightful.

Plus, that Movember tache he showed off last year was definitely my TV highlight of the season.

Most importantly though, he possesses one invaluable skill that is crucial for all studio-based pundits.

He’s very good at sitting down for long periods.

Mechanics of being Katie Price

Katie Price may have been a surprise choice of pundit on BBC1’s political show This Week but she actually gave a good account of herself.

I particularly liked her advice that we should treat our bodies like a car and give it a regular MoT.

She should probably lay off the resprays for a while though.

Some dummy

Jeremy Clarkson says noisy babies should be put in the hold on aircraft.

To be fair, Jeremy, babies don’t know how annoying their constant whining and rampant attention seeking is.

What’s your excuse?

Why BGT dog act needs a change of name

WELL-MEANING memo to Britain’s Got Talent dog act The League Of Extraordinary Groomers: It might be an idea to change that name.

It sounds more like some secret BBC presenters’ club from the 70s.

Voicing my point of view

Points Of View is inviting licence-payers to submit questions for a forthcoming interview with BBC boss Danny Cohen.

I’ve already sent two emails. Email 1: “£22million for The Voice – why?” Email 2: “No, really – why?”

Kenya believe it

BACK at Peter Andre – My Life, Peter took a moment out from his Kenya safari holiday to announce: “I couldn’t have thought of anyone better to come here with than you.”

But was he addressing his hair-flicking, limelight-loving girlfriend Emily?

Or the ITV2 camera crew?

Boo! Our BGT out-does TLC

I CHECKED out TLC’s American reality show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo just to see what all the hype was about.

Verdict? If I want to see young kids being exploited for TV ratings I’ll stick to watching Britain’s Got Talent, thanks.

Apprentice wannabe 'did her best'

Fighting talk from project manager Natalie in The Apprentice boardroom: “I did the best I could do with the tools I was given.” That’s no way to talk about your fellow team members, Natalie.

Oh no, hang on – I’ve just checked. It is.

What to catch up with on catch-up

The Murder Workers (C4) One of those incredible C4 documentaries that (almost) makes all their other guff bearable.

The Tube: An Underground History (BBC2) The Beeb could’ve easily got a whole series out of this fascinating documentary.

Would I Lie To You? (BBC1) Consistently the funniest panel show on TV.

More from Ian Hyland on British Soap Awards and Eurovision.

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